Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Change of Heart

I am LOVING this school year!  Which is very good, because I went into it worried about the upcoming year more than ever.  This summer I worked really hard at trying to progress as a teacher and learn more and more.  I earned 8 credits for my efforts and came across a few things that will benefit me and my class this year.  Unfortunately, it did not leave me a lot of time to actually focus on getting ready for the year.  Then I found out my scores from last year and I felt like they did not reflect how much I improved my second year.  In fact, my scores dropped in everything, except for science, which once again was the top score.

That does not look good, to do worse your second year of teaching.  It took me about a day or so to come to grips with it and to stop dwelling on something I could no longer do anything about.  I was worried though, maybe I was not as good of a teacher as I had thought.  I am used to being at the top, and am very competitive.  I always want to be the best, and I wasn't.  So I was a little apprehensive for school to start.

Then I met 33 of the most amazing people I have ever known.  Some of them were excited to see me, some were very nervous to have their first male teacher.  But they quickly realized that I am not scary and that if nothing else, I care about them.  In fact, one of my boys told me that the first day of school I made him feel so special that he almost cried.  I have also had several parents thank me for the things I am trying to do.  As a teacher you can always do more, but I am trying my best.  I feel, with more confidence than I have ever had, that this year is going to be something very special.

My best is all I have to give.  I have nothing to worry about, because I know that I am a great teacher.  I care about my students and I have the knowledge and skills to back my heart up with.  Now, a week into school, when I have a dream that I got fired (I honestly had to stop and check when I woke up to see if it was real or not) my dream ended with my student's parents being so angry that they all signed a petition to keep me.  So even subconsciously I have an army to back me up.

The brain can only hold one thought at a time, make it one worth having.  So far this school year my thoughts have all been ones worth having and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon.  I think to many of us get down on ourselves.  We aren't doing as bad as we think we are.  I am one of the most positive people you will ever meet, but even I forget sometimes.  If you too have forgotten, I give you permission to have the same change of heart I did.  Life is great!  Live it that way.


GrandmaBev said...

I'm glad to hear you are loving this year. May it be a wonderful year for you.

Marjorie said...

You are better than you think you are, but we can all do better! Just a thought from Julie Beck's talk on Sunday.